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Made out of space-age materials yet unknown in the construction industry, WorkPods of all sizes are made to be rot-free forever, super lightweight, and yet still strong enough to survive a meteor impact. The same sorcery that keeps heat from transferring from one side to the other also reduces any errant soundwaves to a barely noticeable whisper. Wet-bonded fiberglass-reinforced honeycomb sandwiching 1.5-3.5 inches of polyethylene terephthalate is covered in a UV-resistant gel coat and hardened to withstand the aforementioned intergalactic ping-pong.
When your employee walks up to their own personal WorkPod, they are greeted by a next-generation HD camera and RFID-enabled numerical door lock, where they enter their dog's birthday before entering the Pod. For those of you who are security-obsessed and attempt to protect valuable information, the networked 180 degree HD camera on the lock enables 2-way secure communication with your security team to make sure the employee brushed their teeth that morning before entering the Pod. Cheaper versions can forgo the lock completely, but we take no responsibility for your new community of homeless habitats.
Upon entering their sanctuary of solitude (Superman? Anybody get that? No? Shoot.) your super-employee sits at their expansive desk and logs in to your equipment to start the workday. Don't worry, all the furniture and computer equipment inside is on us...after you pay your bill. We have curated lots of great furniture items for you to choose from (or select a limited sample for your employees to choose from. That kind of empowerment is great for morale and your corporate culture!) that fit our WorkPods perfectly. We set it all up when we install the WorkPod at your employees' home, and if you choose our full-service lease option we'll handle any issues with those items as well as the overall health, welfare, and mindfulness of the WorkPod.
To protect your electronics, we have a specialized battery backup system that comes standard (unless you cheap out on us) that cleans up the incoming electricity and makes it more soothing and refreshing for our buddies Macintosh and Windows. To power the whole Pod, we have a specially designed normal extension cord that plugs into your employees' house. No worries though, we'll make sure that any weird power issues look like it's their fault! Of course, as the awesome corporate citizen that you are you definitely want to pay your employee back for the electricity they use to keep you running, right? Good! We made it super easy to monitor usage of the pod and directly reimburse them on their paycheck. Sound complicated? It is!
Speaking about complicated, let's talk about internet and networking.
Good, now that we got that over with we want to keep your employee healthy and happy with a newly designed super-efficient heating and air-conditioning system. Since we're running this whole thing on as little power as possible (oh! and outdoor units can have solar panels! How cool is that?) we reverse-engineered / reinvented the next generation of HVAC. There's a cool little removable HEPA (not PETA) filter and with our full-service lease (wink, wink) we ship them a new filter at regular intervals to make sure the air they breathe stays clean. You don't want your treasured employees breathing dirty, disgusting, wild outdoor air do you? Our HEPA filters and UV lights make sure that even future COVID mutations can't get through. Did we mention it's quiet? It is. Yep.
Now, if your employee opted for an outdoor version to be installed in their driveway or backyard or horse barn, these suckers come with thicker insulation than our indoor versions. The indoor versions are made specifically to fit inside a 1 car garage (even the biggest ones!) so the roofs are flat. Being outdoors though, rain and snow tend to throat-stomp any flat-roofed building that dares stand up to them. Instead, a large dome is installed that redirect rain and snow off of the building and into the quaint little flowerpots your peeps will undoubtedly want to place around their beloved WorkPod. As an optional upgrade, we'll install flexible solar panels in the dome to augment the electrical system with renewable energy, and you can meet/exceed your corporate sustainability goals. Did we mention we're LEED Platinum Certified? Well we're not, but we plan to be someday!
Dang-nab-it, we're going to have to talk about internet and networking aren't we? Since our prophet and idol Elon Musk has not yet finished his global satellite constellation of super-fast-for-next-to-nothing internet, we cant just pop a satellite receiver on these babies and just point it when we install the WorkPod. That sort of craziness would give you an un-hackable direct line to the internet in the sky and a hardwire inside the Pod to the computer, security system, and electrical system. Anywho, while we wait for that we are onboarding hundreds of local ISP's that will install a connection on the house right next to the power cord for our super-awesome dual connection power & ethernet cord that runs out to the WorkPod. The internet bill will be paid for by you, the company, directly and we take no responsibility for it's stability and speeds. We will gladly push our weight around in your favor to make sure you get the best service possible and maybe even your own rep!
Let's finish up by remembering why you're doing all of this: for the health and sanity of your employees. Work-from-home-while-not-actually-at-home is literally the best of all the worlds, and your employees will probably stick around a few months longer than they would have if you made them keep working from their couch.
Cheers! I hope you enjoyed the monologue, leave a tip in the jar.